My Blog: These days...

Are the days after chemo, after the steroids wear off, when my cell counts drop, when my body is in so much pain. These are the days that I cry and I can't control the tears. My skin, bones and even my hair hurts inside and out. These are the days that I get the sores inside my mouth that hurt more when I throw up. I'm never sure if I can eat solid foods. Nothing taste good, everything taste like metal and just the effort of eating hurts. These are the days that marijuana helps me hold on. These days I smoke more marijuana, I drink tea, ginger ale, nap and pray that tomorrow is a better day so I can get back to a routine and bring myself out of this chemo funk. I know about these days, I've been going through this for four years. Each time is as painful as the last.

After my Ct scan last week, I learned that after this series of chemo, I am still as Cancery as before, some small shrinkage here and there but some new growth there and here. I will stay focused, positive and push myself through the pain.

I'm going to do two more chemo treatments and then I am taking off for the summer so that I can focus my energies on my health, family, and work.

This year I will remain vocal about Delaware Medical Marijuana, Medical Marijuana Cards and our need for Delaware Compassion Care Centers. I believe without a voice, it will just die. Controversy just brings unwanted attention at times. I could just give up, smoke my illegal marijuana and let someone else fight this fight. It would just be easier.. I never chose the easy way...